Couple months ago I tentatively started a large, experimental weaving project. I didn't really have any ideas about what would become of it, but I wanted to make something with the paper material that was left over from the collective's installation that was shown in 2015. We have quite a lot of this unprinted, crumbled newspaper material just taking up space, but nobody wants to throw it out. I want to find out what kind of surface textures can be woven with it.
Usually I need my projects to have potential for becoming a product, an art piece that will be displayed somewhere, or then they are small enough not to cause too much emotional damage if they fail. With this particular project, I’m not sue what to expect of the end-result and that feels very scary. If nothing comes out of it and I fail, I will end up with very large, time consuming and in many ways obvious pieces that will be around to silently mock me until I am able to let go and chuck them away.
It’s the same situation as with my earlier knitting projects when I was still learning the technique. If I wasn’t able to finish a project or it didn’t fit (so many sweaters with super tight arm holes…) I had wasted lots of money on yarn (not cheap in this country..), my time and hopes. Then the unfinished project would languish in the back of a cupboard until enough time had passed and I felt able to unravel the work and use the material for something else. Humiliation is the worst feeling that comes with failure, even if nobody else sees the work. That's why it takes sometimes years to deal with those failed projects.
So now I’m hoping I don’t screw up, because this art project wont be hidden away. I’ve got 4 bin liners full of scrap paper and I intend to weave 4-5 large panels from them. I've already made the first one and it's 3,4 meters long. I’m creating organic shapes on the surface and so far they remind me of fungi a little. In addition I'm planning to weave 3-4 intricate textile pieces with really coarse linen (sucker for punishment..). They will be a test of my skill level, which should be interesting, since I'm largely self taught in weaving.